Most therapists will talk to you briefly before you commit, by phone, video or in a first session. It can feel awkward. You are tired, you are not sure what to say, and it can seem rude to question someone whose job is to help you.
It is not rude. That first conversation is an interview in both directions. The therapist is working out whether they can help, and you are working out whether you could talk to this person every week. Asking good questions is the quickest way to find out.
This checklist covers what is worth asking, why each question matters, and what to notice afterwards. Print it, save it on your phone, or keep it open during the call.
Before the call
A few minutes of thought beforehand makes the call easier.
- What you want help with. One or two sentences is enough, such as “I keep getting panic attacks at work” or “I have felt low since my divorce”. You do not need the right words.
- Your practical limits. What you can afford each week, which days and times work, and whether you want online or in-person sessions.
- What matters to you in a therapist. Some people want a particular gender, age, background or language, or someone who understands a particular experience. It is fine to want that and fine to ask.
The checklist: questions to ask a therapist
You do not need to ask all of these. Pick the ones that matter most to you.
Training and registration
- Which professional body are you registered with? Look for a recognised body such as the BACP, UKCP, HCPC or BPC. You can check the BACP Register, the UKCP register, the HCPC register or the BPC register yourself.
- What training do you have? This tells you how long and how deeply they trained, and in which approach.
- Have you worked with people dealing with something like this before? Specific experience matters most for trauma, eating difficulties, addiction, couples and sexual difficulties.
- Do you have regular supervision? Registered therapists discuss their work with an experienced supervisor. A confident yes is a good sign.
How they work
- How would you describe the way you work? Listen for an answer you understand. Jargon without explanation is worth noticing.
- What would a typical session with you look like? Some therapists set homework and structure, others follow your lead.
- Do you usually work short-term or open-ended? This shapes the cost and the kind of change you can expect.
- How will we know if it is helping? A good therapist will talk about reviewing progress together.
Practical arrangements
- What is your fee, and do you have any reduced-fee places? Many therapists keep a few lower-cost places but rarely advertise them.
- How long are sessions, and how often would we meet? Most sessions run for 50 minutes, weekly.
- What is your cancellation policy? Many therapists charge for sessions cancelled at short notice. Better to know now.
- Where do you work, and do you offer online sessions? Ask about the room too, if access or privacy matters to you.
- Do you have space at times I can make? Evenings and early mornings fill up first.
- How do you handle holidays and breaks? Knowing when the therapist will be away helps you plan.
Confidentiality and records
- What stays confidential, and when would you have to share something? Therapists keep what you say private, with a few exceptions, usually where someone is at serious risk. They should explain this clearly.
- What notes do you keep, and how are they stored? You are entitled to know.
Questions to ask yourself afterwards
How you felt in the conversation often tells you more than the answers. After the call, ask yourself:
- Did I feel listened to, rather than rushed or talked over?
- Could I imagine telling this person something difficult?
- Did they explain things in a way I understood?
- Did they answer my questions openly, including about fees and training?
- Did I feel any pressure to book straight away?
Feeling a little nervous is normal and not a bad sign. Feeling judged, dismissed or pressured is. Our guide to red flags when choosing a therapist covers the warning signs in more detail.
It is fine to talk to more than one therapist
Most people speak to two or three therapists before choosing. Therapists expect it and will not be offended. If you decide not to go ahead, a short message is enough:
“Thank you for talking with me. I have decided to work with someone else, but I appreciated your time.”
If you are not sure what kind of therapy you are looking for, our guide which type of therapy might suit me? starts from what is going on for you and suggests where to begin. You may also find how to talk to a therapist and what to expect from your first session helpful.
Find a therapist to call
Every profile on The Therapist Finder shows the therapist’s fee, training and professional body, so some of these questions are answered before you get in touch. Search for a registered therapist near you or online.
Frequently asked questions
What should I ask a therapist before starting?
Ask which professional body they are registered with, what training and experience they have with your kind of difficulty, how they work, what they charge and whether they have reduced-fee places, their cancellation policy, and how confidentiality works. Then notice whether you felt listened to.
Is the first call with a therapist free?
Many therapists offer a short free call before the first session, but not all do, and some charge for an initial assessment. Check their profile or ask when you get in touch.
Is it rude to ask a therapist about their qualifications?
No. Registered therapists are used to the question and should answer it openly. You can also check their registration yourself on the professional body’s online register.
How many therapists should I speak to before choosing one?
Two or three is common. It gives you a sense of different styles without becoming exhausting. If the first person feels right, you do not need to keep looking.
What if I do not know what to say on the call?
Say that. Therapists are used to people who are unsure where to start, and a good one will guide the conversation. One or two sentences about why you are looking for help is plenty.
